I have learnt over the past 1 week, and still learning that I need to learn to deal with anger and not let it hold me back. And of course being given the opportunity to talk about it gave me a catharic release (of some sort) – which is the very first step to recognize the unhappiness and bitterness that has been simmering within me.
I have definitely wasted too much time being unhappy and feeling sorry for myself (while the other party continues to mudsling me behind my back) …… and it is time to stop the rot and MOVE ON!
In the meantime, as a form of ‘self-help’, did my usual googling and found this – http://tinybuddha.com/blog/20-things-to-do-when-youre-feeling-angry-with-someone/
Point 1 is so very true. Rather than covering up negative feelings with positive ones (which is what I have been doing), recognise that you are simply angry/unhappy about the person/situation at hand.
Point 3 – Feel the anger in your body. No surprise why my muscles have been so tensed up for the past 2 weeks. Not to mention the pelvic attack I got back in October (initially thought it was a panic attack caused by stress) + the recent incident with the switching. For a while, I seriously contemplated getting an MRI for my back, thinking there is something really wrong with my back muscles. Now I know its an acute sympton of immediate anger!
Sidenote: So when next time someone tells/confides in me that he/she has got panic attacks as a result of unhappiness/stress, I will not be dismissive anymore after having experienced it myself firsthand.
Point 4 – As per G’s advice.
Point 14 – As wisely brought up by G. If only the other party does see it this way rather than feeling his/her ego has been bursted big time.
Point 15 – This is what a manipulator will do. Create a power struggle and office politics.
Point 16 – Downsides aside, I did learn, and still learning …… and am now clear on what I dislike and can’t tolerate.
Point 20 – Yes clearly I should have spoken up for myself. I guess when people start to label you as defensive, it is their way of playing tricks on your mind.